Our site, Reddit or Tumblr – like other Internet sites and dating and chat apps – is filled with make-believe “Doms,” and “Masters,” that doesn’t deserve ever to be called Master by anyone, because they are just fraudsters, con men, or scam artists. They are like the Wizard of Oz, they hide behind the curtain of the Internet, pretending to be what they are not.
For those of you who are new to this, it can initially be difficult to spot frauds. Do not be too down on yourself for getting deceived. Learn from your mistakes.
10 tips to spot a fraud early on:
- He/She asks for nudes and insists you do whatever he/she says within hours (and usually less) of first chatting with you.
- He/She quickly tries to monetize the relationship, as by “findom” (short for financial domination). Telling you to pay “tribute” to PayPal account, for instance.
- His/Her compliments exclusively focus on your appearance, so he/she says things like “you look great” but you never get a compliment on your personality or character.
- He/She is suspiciously quick to punish you. You’re always being told you’ve “been a bad person”, you always feel like you’re not doing enough to make him/her happy.
- He/She’s only ever really engaged in the conversation when that person needs something. At other times he/she’s distant and barely tolerates you if bothers to reply at all.
- Is that person profile pic shows a perfect body like those from nude magazines or porn movies? Then you can be almost sure that this is nude pics from a porn movie. Invite him/her to a two-way video chat. The chances of him/her agreeing to that are almost nil. Even if that person says yes, the chances are that he/she will not activate his cam, claiming there’s a technical glitch or does not have a cam. A sure sign of a scam.
- The relationship feels empty and hollow. You still feel alone.
- He/She calls you pet names so often that it becomes nauseating. Ends every sentence with “slave” or “slut”; it comes across like he/she’s trying too hard.
- He/She doesn’t seem interested in learning more about BDSM. You won’t find him/her re-blogging long text posts such as this; instead it’ll be 100% sexual content.
- He/She can turn mean and hurtful, perhaps even threaten you with exposure, if you don’t do as he/she says.
Recognize the warning signs and trust yourself. Don’t be so desperate for affection that you ignore signs. Don’t fool yourself into believing that person when he/she says that no one will love you like him/her. He/She’s right, but that’s because his/her love isn’t loving at all and virtually any other love would be better. You are far too precious and rare to allow charlatans to court your attention for too long.
I wonder if you know just how rare you are. There’s no one else quite like you. No one else with your combination of gifts, charms, wiles, or heart. No matter how similar you may feel to someone else, they aren’t and cannot be you.
That doesn’t mean there exists an “only chance” at happiness. There are indeed many who would welcome your gift, treasure it, and nurture it.
When someone comes along who makes you feel diminished, broken, or worthless: walk away. It’s not easy, but it’s just that simple. Get out. Heed the warning in your heart, trust your intuition, and remember the content of this article. You’re worth more than you can know to the right person.